September, 7th 1999
Us Open
Jennifer Capriati dropped her head onto the table in front of her, right
behind the place card. She looked up again at the press corps, which had somehow
become both her accuser and confidante, all at once. Now there were tears of a
lost, fragile youth all over her face. She rubbed her eyes, and they only got
wetter. Capriati looked 15, maybe 16.
A reporter had asked one question too many about her past yesterday, had
broken the rules of engagement, and Capriati melted down. She sat there, looking
helpless, insisting that she could go on. She couldn't. "I just wish I didn't
have to talk about this stuff all the time," Capriati said. Finally, a tennis
official ended the torture.
Capriati walked into the hallway, hanging onto a reporter, then her brother,
then her father, for support. Her mother would soon arrive, and Denise Capriati
would be crying, too. This had nothing to do with losing, 6-4, 6-3, to Monica
Seles. This had to do with some unresolved issues, the ones that Jennifer
Capriati has struggled with for what seems all her life.
"Just once and for all, I wanted to get it over with," Capriati said.
She had read a statement about her lost youth. She had apologized, for
hurting nobody except herself. "I made mistakes by rebelling, by acting out in
confused ways," she said.
It is never that easy, though. Long ago, Capriati became involved in a
perilous cocktail of teenage scourges, which included drugs, shoplifting and the
women's tennis tour. She is still trying to dig herself out.
Her father, Stefano, perpetually optimistic, thought maybe this was exactly
what she had needed, a cathartic experience, a public breakdown.
"That means she's cured," he declared, waiting outside Arthur Ashe Stadium
for a ride back to his hotel. "It's over. She made a mistake. What more do you
want? It's boring to go over the same things. It was enough to make the kids see
that what she did was bad. She apologized to everything, to everyone. She only
hurt herself and her fans. She wasn't a drug addict or she would never play tennis."
He has seen his daughter this way, through the hopeful eyes of an overly
protective father, since Day 1. Back in 1992, when Jennifer was still 16 and
already showing signs of burnout, he watched her practice on a side court at the
National Tennis Center and told a reporter, "You can see she's having fun now,
smiling much more than Steffi Graf. That's the important thing. To have fun."
He meant it, too. Stefano always wanted Jennifer to be joyful on the court,
while she was practicing too many hours a day. She just couldn't always be the
happy daughter.
Jennifer never faced the sort of tragedy that stalked Monica Seles, but then
some people don't need that kind of push to fall over the edge. She hung out
with the wrong friends. She was arrested. Her parents were divorced, amicably.
Yesterday, Stefano said he didn't harbor any regrets about the way he raised his daughter.
"No, it's society," he said. "Of course you think we could do something else.
But what? Say, 'Timeout'?"
One tennis official, who has dealt with the Capriatis since Jennifer first
came on the scene, said yesterday he would love to see her separate herself from
the father in order to become truly self-sufficient. That isn't going to happen
soon, as long as Jennifer Capriati is playing tennis.
At Wimbledon this summer, she was still searching the stands for
encouragement from Stefano, as a match against Anke Huber carried into twilight.
On the tennis court, he remains her only beacon.
Against Seles yesterday, Capriati was a lost ship at sea. She kept playing
the ball into the middle of the court, where Seles is a master of sharp angles
and winners. Soon enough, Capriati was out of another Grand Slam.
Where there is free will, there is always hope. Later yesterday, Jana Novotna
officially announced her retirement from tennis. Novotna, 30, once cried very
publicly, on the shoulder of a Duchess at Wimbledon, after choking away the
final on Centre Court. She recovered nicely, retiring with grace, dignity and a
fully grown personality.
You wished the same for Capriati some day. She doesn't owe anybody
explanations. She just needs to forgive herself. After all these years, she is
only 23. There is still time. That is the only advantage about starting so young.
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